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Saturday, April 5, 2014

Two Under 2?!?!

Got some news!!!
Some VERY shocking news.

We're pregnant with #2! 

10 mos after having my son, Kylan, we learned baby #2 was on their merry way! 
Absolutely nuts considering we JUST talked about a 3yr plan to revisit the very idea of another. 
20%of me wanted another peanut and 70% didn't...

If you read the birth story of my first (Which it won't let me link... Grrr!) you might understand why I was so cautious about doing this again.  
My birth experience was nothing God didn't see coming and it didn't throw Him for a loop but it threw me for one.
However needed our trials are to make us stronger, it was hell and a half for me and the very reason I haven't blogged about being a new mom. Breaks my heart too because I have so much to share/update!! I've seriously felt so off and needed to put all my energy into caring for our baby boy that I even had to stop nursing my son at 7 mos due to loosing ground on my healing because of the massive calorie output. Even a good diet didn't help me I was felt weak, so weak no matter how much sleep I got it never helped. I was pale and looked like a Walker from the Walking Dead. Well, at least I thought so. *wink* So it's not for a lack of ignoring my small group of readers! I've simply been trying to survive. I'm not sure what to fully expect this time around but I'm keeping my chin up. 

God has a reason for this little one coming and in that I'm thrilled!!

On that note...

This pregnancy already feels different in most ways but others not so much. 
One thing that's driving me batty is the insomnia. Oh my goodness!!! I'm not only pooped due to working pt again, caring for my little and now this?! True and utter madness, I've had waxing clients have their jaws drop when they hear how much sleep I'm NOT getting. And if that doesn't show it my lack of proper talking/communication does. I sound like a babbling idiot! I miss sleep... My son has spoiled me with how good he's done since he was 8 weeks old, sleeping an average 10 hours a night and if I'm lucky 2, 2 hour naps during the day. I am blessed. (Right now he's trying to convince me he doesn't need a 2nd nap but mommy knows better.)

That's the biggest difference so far, haven't felt too sick yet...

We have also decided to go with a hospital/OB this time instead of a home birth/midwife...

Why you may ask?

Not for lack of believing in our midwife Jessica or lack of support for home birth vs hospital birth. I still say a home birth is the better way to go but my case seems to indicate maybe not (And those cases are out there! Some need the aid of a hospital to have a safer birth). Obviously not my first pick and you know me if you've read my stuff as to why, I'm not 100% anti medical field but I also have a very thin line of trust for it. In saying that I must say this...Doctors did save the life of both my son and myself, I can't deny that! However there's a residual PTSD-like sensation from my time in the hospital and the idea of going back isn't a pleasant one, regardless if it looks to be the safest option. We are even considering a doula this time to keep the home-like feeling with us. 

I had those who said I was CRAZY for trying a home birth and those who didn't say it had the look written all over their face. 
Then I had those who would hug me in learning that was my choice, people I randomly met in the checkout line usually. Do I feel like I made a stupid choice to try? No way! I feel like had I not I would've lived with some pretty massive regret. A woman posses more power in giving birth than what most give her credit for!
But our reason for going with my dr vs our midwife is me respecting the hearts of my husband and family. How I wish my midwife worked with the dr office I am registered with. I'd give my right arm... Not to negate my dr bc she's Christian and very respectful of my wishes thus far. It'll just be a journey to build some trust but it's one I'm willing to work for. :) As you can see I have some extremely mixed emotions that are God-sized and I'm willing to let Him work His grace in this and see this new adventure in a positive light!

So follow me once again as I document and discuss my progress and various topics surrounding the new pregnancy/baby due end of Summer 2014!

8 Weeks! (Roughly) 

Shannon <3

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