Follow my pregnancy by email!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Who will be there for the birth?

A question I've been asked many times.

Don't get me wrong, having a "communal birth" is okay for some.
But I'm not one that finds the idea of having the whole family plus other children (save for the one I'm birthing) in the room when I'm giving birth or in labor. I know what I feel like when I have a nasty migraine and the last thing I want are people around staring at me. 

So my answer is usually something along the lines of, "My husband, our midwife and her assistant."

Now, if you want your mother I can understand that, she's your mom. Or a mother figure if your mom is unable to be present. That I totally get.
Anybody else? No.

If you're pregnant or planning on becoming a parent one day I think this is something to really consider as part of your "birth plan." Who do you want at the birth? What relaxes you now and what have you noticed works when you're in an intense situation? For me it'll be a comfort knowing I have only 3 people there and I have my home comforts surrounding me. i.e. Candles, maybe some music, soft lighting, warm water, food and liquids etc... I'm a very private person when it comes to matters like these and I've never liked extra people around when I'm sick or feeling really off. Thus my wanting a home birth vs hospital. I know there'd be zero progress for reasons of too much stimulation and a lack of privacy. I don't believe in rushing both mom and baby when a birth is happening.

To recap:

1. Decide what's right for you and who you want there.

2. Don't rule out a hospital if you truly feel like that's where you'll feel safest.
(After all, some offer a more relaxed atmosphere these days w/tubs or showers for labor.)

3. Know that having a voice of reason to take a firm stand while at a hospital is something you'll want to save you from unneeded interventions that may put both you and you baby at risk.
Some midwives even work from hospitals and they're there to step in and tell the doctors to back off.

4. And if you're having a home birth, what do you want surrounding you that makes you feel safe and calm?

Heck these are even questions for mothers who have already had children and are possibly looking for a different alternative than the last time. Esp if they're wanting to see things done differently.

Remember, you're a woman and your body was designed to have babies, deep down you know what's best for you and that precious bundle you're about to give birth to. Everything my midwife has told me, i've heard from many others and or read about states in a clear voice that all you need to do is listen to what your body is telling you during labor and to try and relax. If you need to shift positions or have somebody speak for you, do it.

God designed your body for incredible things and growing a baby to one day give birth and after to feed your infant is prob the most miraculous of them all!! Don't let anybody tell you different.

Psalm 139:13

Shannon <3 


  1. AMEN! Sorry, I am just so into what you said! I agree with you on all of this and I'm so glad you're an educated expectant mother instead of just another statistic in a hospital these days. After I sent you that link from the midwife's website, I started thinking of things like this myself. I was just thinking the other day who I would and wouldn't want to be present. I totally agree that having only future dad and the midwife or whoever needs to be there for you and the baby is all that should be there, for me anyway. None of this, invite the whole family thing. That would be sooo stressful to me because then I would feel like I couldn't be myself. Anyway, I'm so happy to hear you mentally preparing yourself for the actual birth. Like you said, your body is made to do it, so it's going to be fine.

  2. I've been looking and soul searching since I ended my first engagement and knew this was such a huge part of getting pregnant... Plus listening to how my parents don't regret what they did and to have a husband who's supportive in this made everything suddenly feel SO right. I know labor involves pain but if you're in a place where you fell focused and safe your body will do miraculous things and show you why God designed your body the way He did! I'm so glad I've talked to people and read up on this, plus to have a midwife who's educated. I feel even more excited about this baby! <3